— Confessions of a Tech Junkie

A slightly surreal rant.

Some days I end up having discussions in various places on the internet where someone has come looking for help with the devkitPro toolchains. Usually I take a few minutes, maybe even half an hour & help someone solve a problem and they’re usually happy with the end result. Sometimes I even get a donation shortly afterwards.

Other days things get a little weird. I was attempting to explain some of this to my partner (who doesn’t code) the other night and I came up with a story that might help make the point a little.

Imagine, if you will, walking out your front door one morning where you encounter your neighbour who has a large tabby cat sitting on his window sill tied to a piece of string. He brandishes an electrc razor at the cat, who makes his fur all spiky, hisses and screeches at your neighbour then leaps up and claws his face drawing blood.

“What on earth are you doing?” you enquire?

“I’m cleaning my windows” says your neighbour.

“What? You can’t clean windows like that!?”

“Sure you can. Look, when he leaps up to claw me with all that spiky fur he brushes against the window and all the dirt comes off” explains your neighbour.

“But”, you say, “This would be so much easier with a bucket of water and a squeegee”.

“That sounds a bit complicated. I’ve never used those before and I don’t own either of those things anyway”

“There’s a shop down the road that sells them, you could have them in half an hour and I could show you how to use them if you like”

“Well, that’s kind of you but I don’t really have time to go to the shops and learn how to use a bucket and a squeegee. It’s taken me all morning to do these windows and I’m nearly done now, then I have to go to the hospital and get some of these cuts stitched up.”

While you’re considering a response to this, another neigbour turns up. “Hi Jeff” he says, brightly. “Cleaning the windows again I see. That cat has made a right mess of you today”

“Yes” says Jeff, “I really should do something about his claws”

“Maybe you could get a domestic long hair instead of that tabby. You could get him declawed at that vet in town and a long hair might have  a better temperament”

“You’re absolutely right” says Jeff, and he takes the cat back inside then heads off into town to see if he can buy a domestic long hair somewhere”

“Why did you do that George?” you say to your other neighbour, “He’d be much better off with a bucket and a squeegee”

“Maybe”, says George, “but he enjoys cleaning his windows with a cat so much”

A few days later, you’re reading the local newspaper and you discover an article Jeff has got published. It’s entitled “How to choose the best cat to clean windows”.

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